Dear him. Yours, her.

Dearest,

We grew up in a controversial society. While some have the seeds of gender equity implanted within their souls from when they were children, the majority, however, keep repeating the old and useless mantra, “women were created to serve men”. Accordingly, we were raised. You were too generous with your flaw detection, you didn’t even hesitate a second, but then again, accordingly, we were raised.

You told me I’ll cause the aging process of my skin to be quickly paced by constantly carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. If I ate as much as a normal person would, I’ll be too fat, but if I kept the intake of food minimum, I’m not taking care of myself. If I take care of others, I’m not giving myself what I need, but if I give myself some time, I’ll be self-centered and selfish. If I help around, then I’m not concentrating on my studies, or scratch that, not even reading or educating myself enough, but if I spend my time reading or going out, I’m more selfish than I previously mentioned. Accordingly, we were raised.

 You told me I’m unbearable, that anyone won’t tolerate me: I’m too sad and alone for them. You see the flaws in me and point them out every time you have the chance to. During gatherings, if I sit alone then I’m ruining the whole point of the get-together. If I join the group, I’m unneeded, unwanted. If I made a mistake it’s unforgivable. I’m always too loud, or not loud enough, you find the satisfaction of rendering me speechless, even if I’m not flummoxed by much. Accordingly, we were raised.

For once, I’d like to see myself from your eyes. What is it like to be seen from another perspective? Am I too proud? Too shy? Barely tolerable? Am I at fault all the time? Am I that loud as you claim? Or even inhumanely silent? Am I selfish and self-centred? Am I kind? Am I too strict? Am I venomous? Am I worth all the disgust-filled looks I receive? Am I ugly? Am I a plain Jane? Am I….?

If I started asking questions of that sort, or even gave them a minute of my thinking time, I’ll surely choke on suffocation. Suffocation from all the wondering I’ll do, from all the assumptions I’ll make. All the emotional pain I have bottled inside will explode, and it won’t be pretty. I’ll go insane, or maybe I already am? Who is to be blamed for such awful doings? Only one person, that is……………………………………………. me.

I wish you’d have a short stroll through my mind and heart. However, that is only a wish that could not be granted even if the world is a wish granting factory as per what Augustus Waters said. Even if this wish could, miraculously, come true, I would never in a million, billion, trillion, gazillion years allow such thing to happen so long as I’m breathing. How could I when inside of me, despite all the pain I’ve kept, hold an immense amount of love, admiration and respect?

Why am I receiving this treatment when you’re at times far worse? Why do I receive the looks then you’re the one who wrongfully complains? Aren’t we created equal? Aren’t we from the same race? Why are you privileged and I’m left in the shadows? I won’t stay brain cuffed here, I will let this all out, I will change this, for I was not accordingly raised.

I’m the one behind each success. I can multitask and succeed. I can drive and park correctly. I can be feisty one second and cute the following one. I can be mad, happy, scared or emotional and still be capable of numerous things. I can wear what I want, I can eat what I want. Just as you have the freedom of “can”. The standards you tied me with are no longer here. I’m educated enough to know that such standards are made due to your ignorance.

Let it be known that I succeeded.

Let it be known that you succeeded.

Let it be known that I want to be loved.

Let it be known that you want to be loved.

Let us live without my complaints.

Let us live without your standards.

Let us be proud of who we are.

You’re a male and you made it big.

I’m a female and I made it big.